The Forking Torch
So, I walk into the living room of my house, dark, hoping
for familiarity. I had just had the worst day. And when I walked in everything
was gone… GONE!
Can you believe it ?? Empty, spaciously dusty… un-bleached
shadow spots on the carpet and all to accentuate the lack of furniture and
decorations. It was ALL gone.
They took the chairs, the tables... the swing… the dog, the
bowls, even the moldy birthday
cake candles from Nana’s 87th
birthday cake, ten years ago… and the sowing box.. and the pins!
They took
everything except a fork.
It stood
alone, stuck to the floorboards… mocking me, in the middle of the porch. I wondered what
message they tried to convey… Why couldn’t they take the mortgage I had to pay…or
a few bills at least??
That’s it! I’ve had it .. Im sick of this town . Everything
is going downhill and I will soon drown , of stress, and my family of the dog
and my job.. wait no , the dog is
gone too. Oh! my beloved Bob. Now to top it all off I
come home and got robbed?? Geez!
I have decided... I will make this fork my torch. I will
carry it with pride ... well at least, put it away from the porch. It will be my symbol of anger filled
incongruous attitude. Because, you know, they freaking left me stuck in dusty
solitude.
You filthy thief… you inglorious bastard... I will hide
you in a wall and neatly cover it with plaster for, that’s all you are you
stinking thief. Someone who likes to steal dirty jock straps, and in return
give back grief!
If I ever find you I will burn you with fire… I will unleash
upon you my wrath with.. with draconian desire and this will be true. THIS WILL BE TRUE! From the bottom of
my heart , I will stick my torch/fork in your left eye .. and yell FORRRRK YOUUUUUU!
Ingenious, witty, and humorous, while still mantaining that signature Camille bite to it. Well done, as usual, especially considering the time constraint. I know this is somewhat off-topic to the whole critique process, but your HILARIOUS ending reminds me of a joke I once read online:
ReplyDeleteA man, distressed, walks up to his two best friends. He says "Oh, my goodness! Did you guys hear? Johnny got knived!"
The first friend shudders in shock as expected of a good friend. However, the second replies, "That's forking terrible!" With the others staring at him with confused expression, he shrugs, "What? Too spoon?"
LOL, sorry about that minor setback, but nevertheless, very witty and poignant story. It had me cheering all the way for this character's plans of revenge (I mean, revenge is bittersweet, right? Who doesn't secretly relish it?) >=]
Hahahahah! That joke is funny. nice pun in the end of your comment as well :D btw .. i just realized I made references not only to poe, but to Tarantino and Florence and the Machine.. Pop culture has tainted me :D
ReplyDeleteA clever idea Camille. I like the fact that the only thing left in the room is a fork. Although I am aware that this is just a draft, I'd like to see this in the third person. You could add a narrative slant that favors the woman who walks into an empty apartment? room? But the third person would give a eerie dimension to your story. But then again you might have been going for a more comedic effect...
ReplyDelete