Rosale
Red Patent 9.0
I challenge you to find us!
You stingy little girl.
With us on, your legs were the
pillars of the Earth, the columns of Colossus; tall, long and slender, and Oh,
so very, very strong.
You would have been the
graceful Amazon of every man’s fantasy.
The Queen of Hearts.
We were the perfect “fuck
me” heels.
Plucked out of adult fairytales.
Shame on you… we hang our Mad
Hatter bows in shame.
We stood there on that
shelf, raising cherry flags more scarlet than our red patent skin, shouting: “Buy
us! Buy us!”
Your girl friends… they
understood our language.
They valued our worth.
You should have listened to
their plea for us.
Yet you turned away with stubborn steps and deaf ears.
For a second, you tried us
on.
You rose tall and elegant.
You were tempted by our crimson joy.
You were
mesmerized by our ruby spell.
You stood there, feminine
and miserable.
Torn between reason and
desire…
You should have chosen desire.
When you wore us, your legs
ripped,
shaped by our support on your toned jogger calves,
evoking the envy of
women around you.
They tingled with the pleasure of vanity like a
post-orgasmic flow.
We zapped you with the
energy of sexy soles and spiky 5”heels.
Silly girl... we did not crave
freedom.
We wanted to be servants at your feet and to kiss your every step.
You abandoned us,
Now, we
will haunt you in shades of blush,
on the feet of other women less deserving of
our elegance,
yet wiser than you, frugal girl.
They chose to spend on
self gratification.
We will haunt your dreams of neglected desires .
We will
become the disturbing reminder of your buried life;
the one you set aside for
alternate choices and ugly or “comfortable” shoes.
and if you do,
Maybe then you will open your pocket,
and finally change your mind.
Ah, Camille,
ReplyDeleteAnother pair of shoes taunting us to buy them! What is it with these cantakerous shoes!! They are so demanding. Yet, so right. Once you let the right ones pass....
On a different note:
Don't you want a synonym for frugal? And who is the "they" in "They chose to spend on self gratification?"
Hi Elsa, I found the Rosale again for less than 100$, but not in red :( . "They" is a reference to the women mentioned on the previous line. I was debating whether to separate this line from the others or keep it connected for fluency. I thought of greedy or cheapskate .. but it did not have the same effect or meaning.. I will keep searching :) Thanks for the feedback.
ReplyDeleteWow. They look wonderful and frightening at the same time. If I wore those, I'd have to cling to the walls just to get from room to room.
ReplyDeleteMy own only comment is to think about the way you want the poem to look on the page. Did you want to try to new line breaks, maybe enjambment? The poem is tongue in cheeky, but maybe new lines break play will add to that tone. For instance, there's a certain breathlessness in "You should have listened to their plea", the "for us" kind of drifts into the past. I feel like the "for us" disappears and I like that.
I love the extended mythical metaphors at the start! These shoes above all love themselves!
Oh, wow! Another wonderful piece from you! I have to immediately state that my favorite line was: "You stood there, feminine and miserable.
ReplyDeleteTorn between reason and desire…You should have chosen desire." I am in awe of such strong control on dialogue that you have! Also, though not exactly what I would call a free-verse poem, it had that feel to it of restriction that I love so much, which forces the writer to think out-of-the-box; so, kudos to you for going that extra mile!
Though the shoes seemed a little too callous and arrogant at some points, this may very well be typical from a personified fashion item--pious and always looking down on others--hatefully scorning that woman to have the audacity to not buy them. Incredible job! =D
The Rosale are designer shoes from a separate, more expensive line by Steve Madden. Expensive by nature and erhaps not as much as a Jimmy Choo or a Manolo, they can be worth over $150 a pair. These are shoes that need skill, control and a certain poise from the person that wears them. I will admit the way the foot arches with them on can make almost anyone fall down. A shoe like this stands out, hence why I gave them the arrogant, self-important personified attitude that they have. Although I am still regretting that I did not buy them on sale, I still feel that $100 for a pair (on sale) was simply more than what I was willing to pay for them. I wanted the shoes to sound snobby and offended that they were overlooked even if they had been diminished to be worth half their value, like that rich woman that looks down on another who is not stuck on vanity or looks the same way was she is and that would accuse the other of being jealous or ignorant for not agreeing with her.
ReplyDeleteJane, I considered the element of nostalgia. I can still play with the breaking of the lines since this is a draft, but i decided to not use the "for us" with an element of nostalgia because I wanted the shoes to sound resentful and bitter; as if the shoes were chiding the buyer for overlooking their worth and what they could bring to enhance the buyer's life. I will still consider the line break suggestion. perhaps this structure is too forced. The original version was structured differently, but I felt the lines were just too long.
Thanks for the feedback. :)